It’s been a year since I arrived in Indonesia.
It’s interesting to think about the series of events which brought me here.
I had a flight to Florida for a training a couple weeks before my flight to Bali.
And as I was arriving to the airport, I asked my mom to turn the car around. I wasn’t supposed to go to Florida.
Although I had know clue why.
She, lovingly, patiently, did as I asked, as she intuitively knew it wasn’t aligned for me to go. “I knew it, I just wasn’t going to say anything until you said it.” she responded.
A couple days later, I found out my visa for Bali had been approved, and I received a reminder by the agent to leave by the 26th if I was expected to make it out of quarantine in time before the 2-week travel restriction for a Balinese holiday.
My ticket was originally booked for the following week, so I wouldn’t have made it to the apprenticeship due to the travel restrictions.
That’s why I didn’t go to Florida. I wouldn’t make it back in time for Bali.
A part of me saw many obstacles in the way. Will the training (the reason for going) be canceled? Do I rebook for something this uncertain? My vacation time doesn’t cover that – can I work from Bali?
All of these seeming obstacles arising out of the mind. But there was something else, underneath, a permeating ‘Yes, GO’.
So I did it. Rescheduled the flight and hotel, talked to my boss, and planned to make it to apprentice for an event which I wasn’t even sure was happening. But I knew I had to go.
On the day of my flight, the matriarchs of my family came along to drop me off to the airport.
My grandmother cried as we said goodbye.
“I’m only going for a month 🤍!”, I responded.
Clearly, she knew better.
I remember walking into the airport and noticed a dragging under my suitcase – one of the wheels had broken and ripped open the bottom exposing the underside…
“is this a sign?!” I thought.
I called my mom – “Hey Mummy, will you take me to Ross? I need to get a new suitcase.”
Surprisingly, my mom hadn’t left yet because another car was blocking hers from leaving.
So off we went, with an hour and a half left before my flight.
I wondered if I was supposed to go. Mummy wondered the same. But I could feel that it was time, and that which seemed like obstacles were merely challanges seeking to be overcome.
Makes sense upon traveling to the place of your Pluto IC, I suppose.
I finally got to the counter at Japan air. My bag was too heavy and my guitar was going to cost and extra $200 to bring along with me.
Goodness, I laughed. Luckily they allowed me to keep things there for my mom to pick up later, they had planned on staying in SF anyway.
After unloading some items and saying goodbye to my guitar, off I went, with a handful of intentions and an openess to the mystery of what was yet to come from a one month workcation.
Little did I know.
I suppose that is the magic of not knowing.
A year later. Here I am. The apprenticeship event did end up getting canceled. But life had more in store for me.
It has been as challenging as it has been incredibly expansive and beautiful. The highs have balanced the lows. And the transformation which continues has been deeply fulfilling. Never have I felt as deeply a sense of connection, resonance, and community, along with a sense of grief and solitude. Never have I experienced as much instability, which ultimate served as grounding force into really experiencing a true feeling of being home.
Being home on this land. Being home in community. Being home in my own being, and in my own heart.
And the actual home, which I’ve now manifested, with the kitten 🌱.
Life has taught me to hold on ever so lovingly and lightly to plans and projections – but I do know that the sense of foundation I am building here is one which will come with me, wherever life’s road leads me to, and for that, I am ever so grateful.
Ever so grateful for all of the events which brought me to being here, now.
Ever so grateful for the events, the people, the synchronicities.
Ever so grateful for this reality. ✨
Ever so grateful for the sacred land of Mama Bali 🌈
Looking forward to bringing my family here soon 🤍
